my mom got remarried and it sucked

I don’t wanna be a bridesmaid

I don’t want to sit here in pain 

I sat right behind your seat, anxious and crying 

My heart aches for comfort and I’m dying 

I’m claustrophobic in his car and I’m silent 

You’ve taught me politeness so I hide behind it 

I want nothing to do with this 

And none of these dresses fit 

It isn’t family if none match when we mix 

No amount of trimming and tailoring will fix 

I can’t even mention Daddy around him 

Or you give me a sharp look to shut me up 

I can’t even say what I feel or explain what I meant 

You give me guidelines and side looks whenever we see him 

It’s mental torture to be in the middle of your game 

You’re the only one playing along and you’re winning 

I feel cursed

And it’s meaningless to tell you 

You’d only say that dad and you fell through 

But I watched you drift to see others, I saw you 

I remember all the sneaky phone calls and the blocked numbers that’d call you 

Dad knows you two didn’t just fall through 

You just fell out when you said you were through 

And you say you’ve prayed for this kind of man 

That he’s given more to you than he can 

You didn’t play the game fairly  

You left him as soon as you had the chance 

You say he’s the man of your dreams 

You vouch for him with all your heart 

It’s heart-aching to try on these dresses 

I cry every time you turn to find my size 

I feel like a mediocre, heartless puppet 

I don’t feel like your daughter, I feel like a supplement 

And I’m suffering 

I’m trying for you, I am 

But it seems like you’re reconditioning me more than loving me 

You’re reteaching me a family dynamic that I want no part of 

I want you to be happy without me having to learn to suck it up 

When can we find that middle ground?